Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Why I Can't Wait for the Gophers to be a Powerhouse

In anticipation I was thinking about the upcoming Gopher game. I was happy to see that we are getting Jim Nantz and Clark Kellogg doing the game because I do enjoy them. Then I thought about the thing I hate the most about the Gophers not being a known commodity. Those of us following the Gophers have to hear the same damn info about our team every time we get new announcers. So here is a checklist of what you are going to hear when Nantz and Kellogg cover us for the first time.
  • Did you know that Lawrence Westbrook is a cousin to Eagles running back Brian Westbrook? They will mention this after he makes a drive to the hoop. They will then comment how he is built like a fullback or halfback. They will remark on how he barrells into the lane like a running back despite going the speed of a truck and not a 4.4 running back. They may also mention that he scored 40 ppg as a high school senior.
  • Did you know that Ralph Sampson III is the son of legend Ralph Sampson Jr? They will make this comment after his first block or hook shot. They will then pan to his father for 15 seconds, who looks to not be enjoying himself at all. Clark Kellogg will then remark about how good Ralph Sampson Jr. was and how he won 3 Player of the Year awards.
  • Did you know Devoe Joseph is from Canada? After his first long range make, they will remark that the young freshman hails from Ajax, Onterio in Canada.
  • Did you know Damian Johnson has the wingspan of a 7 footer? This will be said after his first block how he is only 6'7" but he is quick and has a 7 foot wingspan.
  • Did you know Paul Carter has moved a lot? This will happen if he contributes but it usually is only spoken while he is at the free throw line.
  • Did you know Blake Hoffarber has been nominated for two ESPYS? This hasn't been mentioned much this year because he has had limited success this year. It might also not get mentioned because it is usually on ESPN to pimp their own awards.
This will all be mentioned in between non-stop gushing over Tubby Smith. They will mention his national title, NCAA appearances and consecutive 20-win seasons. They will mention how he was not appreciated by Kentucky and likely how Kentucky is not in the tournament.

This is why I can't wait for the Gopher powerhouse. I look forward to turning to ESPN and CBS and not having to listen to the announcers try and introduce the Gophers through unique meaningless stories. Instead they won't have to because the nation will already know about Ralph Sampson, Royce White and Rodney Williams.

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